I’m a mom of three. Here are things I wish I knew when I was pregnant.

When I had my first child, I thought I had pregnancy figured out— there had been no major hiccups, just a little rule-bending and lifestyle tweaking. Nine months later, I had a tiny human in my arms. It was simple, right? Nope. Wrong.

It’s what came after that hit me like a truck. It’s what came after that I wish somebody had penned to me, like a tiny love letter in empathy, mother to mother. And this is what it would have said:

Dear new mom,

Your body just tore itself apart to create life. It took a piece of your heart that you’re never getting back. One moment, you were whole. The next, a part of you is swaddled, screaming, and you’re left wondering what just happened. No horror story or pep talk could have prepared you for this. But hear me loud and clear—you are doing your best and nobody should ever tell you otherwise.

Looking back, there’s so much I wish I had known, done differently, or simply been told was possible. I wish I didn’t feel pressured to trade my career for full-time motherhood. I wish I knew how to eat without judgment, didn’t have to hide my belly from the dreaded nazar, or spend nine months in sweatpants because maternity wear options were a joke around me. I wish I could’ve enjoyed a massage without Google convincing me I’d go into labor mid-session. I wish I had kept exercising, found the right support, and known that moisturizing daily might save me from looking like I’d wrestled a tiger for nine months.

But more than anything, I wish I had been talked to differently.

The two extremes of pregnancy-attitudes in Pakistan

Here, pregnancy is usually treated like a critical illness. The dominant mindset across almost all layers of our society: Rest, quit, pause. Eat, eat more. Don’t move too much. If something goes wrong, it’s because you did something you shouldn’t have done. This feeds into our lack of maternal support, with no laws ensuring maternity leave and little encouragement for women to stay active—despite the fact that the rest of the world now considers exercise crucial during pregnancy.

Then there’s the opposite camp, the condescending, semi-bitter aunty types (we all know who they are). They are the eye rolling, advice dolling oracles nobody asked for a prophecy.

“Women have been giving birth since forever,” they sneer. “Why are you acting special?”

And somewhere between those two extremes, there’s most of us. Just trying to get on with it, trying to deal with the life-changing and intense transformations happening inside our bodies while being guilted, being nauseous, being judged, being moms.


Why aren’t we talking enough about mental health in pregnancy

In Pakistan, conversations around mental health and body image are evolving. The fitness industry is moving beyond toxic diet culture, and there are growing spaces for support—except when it comes to pregnant women and new mothers.

Why aren’t we telling them, “You’re a superhero.” Why aren’t we saying, “We see you. We’ve got you. You’re not alone.”

These women are raising the next generation—the leaders, the thinkers, the moral, the corrupt, the bold, the hesitant, the lovers, the haters, the world-changers.

So let’s be a part of that. Let’s open doors for these women. Let’s support them, encourage them, and make them feel strong—so they raise children who feel strong too.

Because if we want a better future, it starts with better mothers. And that starts with us.